


Her Wish

by yeonier



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Divorce, F/M, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:07:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26991127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeonier/pseuds/yeonier
Relationships: Kim Chaewon (IZONE)/Miyawaki Sakura, Kim Minju/Miyawaki Sakura
Kudos: 6





	Her Wish

\--

"What..."

Chaewon sat there blankly, as if her soul had been sucked out forcefully. The person in front of her gave her an apologetic sigh and tried to fix their sitting posture.

"I.. This is the hardest part of my job, Chae, to deliver such news. But, yes, based on the lab test.."

The person took a glance at Chaewon who sat there blankly before continuing.

"It's.. Neuroblastoma.. And I'm afraid it was.. pretty serious."

There goes the last of her energy has been stripped out of her body. Chaewon feels like her world crumbles. She couldn't even feel tears have escaped from her eyes, and she didn't care. The doctor went to her side with a box of tissue in her hand, trying to calm her down.

"I'm so, so sorry."

It breaks the doctor's heart when she sees Chaewon trying hard to hold her cry when her tears have betrayed her. She tried to find her breath and calmed down. She held her doctor's hand on her shoulder, gripped it tightly.

"She's just a kid, unnie. My Wonnie is just a baby."

Eunbi just held her close, afraid to let Chaewon know that she was on the verge of breaking down as well.

"I'm sorry."

\--

"Mommy.. It hurts..."

Wonyoung has been wailing non-stop ever since Chaewon knew what happened with her daughter. She ran to Wonyoung and carefully lifted her up to her embrace, stroking her back softly.

"Shh.. I know baby, I know.. But mommy needed to do this so Wonnie could recover fast. You want to play with Yujin again right?"

She was actually starting to hate holding Wonyoung in her arms like this. She hates how she could feel her daughter's weight has dropped significantly, and how she could see the dark circles around her eyes clearly. She hates the sight of her once energetic daughter turning quiet and refused to do everything because it was hurting her. She hates the fact that she had to appear strong for both of them, while in fact she just wants to cry her heart out.

They were supposed to be happy together. Both of them are against the world. She was happy with her working-mom schedule, Wonyoung was so happy when she got chosen for her first ballet recital. They were so happy. Until Wonyoung starts losing her appetites and complains that her bones are hurting. 

Chaewon just wants to wake up from this nightmare and go back to the time where she was happy with her happy baby.

"But mommy.. it's hurting..."

Chaewon held Wonyoung tighter and swayed her body left and right to calm her baby down.

"I know baby.. I know..."

\--

A hand slipped out of the blanket to find the source of the voice that was blasting through the room. Once that hand turned off the alarm, a shuffles could be heard from beneath the blanket before a head popped out. With eyes still closed, Saku tried to stiffles his yawn before rubbing his eyes, forcing them to open. 

"What time is it.."

A pair of hands came in contact with his bare waist from behind. Saku smiled sleepily before he turned his body to stare at the beauty behind him.

"It's still early.. Go back to sleep, Min."

Saku watched the naked woman in front of him who still had her eyes closed snuggling closer to him.

"Hmm.. I need my human bolster to sleep.."

Saku chuckled and gave a kiss on her forehead before caressing her cheek softly.

"You know I am dying to join you, but I have early meetings baby."

Minju whined and forcefully opened her eyes to stare at the man in front of her, who rested his head with his hand.

"But it's Saturday.. You promised to spend time with me today.."

Minju pouted, knowing well that it was his kryptonite to do whatever she requests. She felt her cheek get pinched instead.

"You silly. I'll try to finish the meeting fast and make a reservation at your favorite restaurant. Sounds like a plan?"

Minju ponders, but she got a better idea. She scooted closer, until her bare breasts made contact with his naked chest.

"Hmm.. I like that plan, but I also had this plan.."

Her hand slowly trails down from the side of his waist, his lengthy bone that has sprung proudly at her touch. Saku breath getting harsher.

"You sure you want to go to that boring meeting of yours?"

...

After an eventful morning with his girlfriend, Saku finally finished with his long meeting. It was unexpected, as the plan was two hours meeting. But it got extended and became a four hours meeting instead. Saku sighed and checked on his watch. He still gets plenty of time to get back to his apartment before picking his girlfriend up. As he was about to start the engine of his car, he got a call.

\--

"Don't wanna!"

Chaewon tried to hold her anger at the sight of her daughter who refused to open her mouth and eat. She's been trying to feed her dinner, but Wonyoung refuses to eat. She always vomits whenever she eats and Wonyoung doesn't like that as it was hurting her.

"Baby, please.. You have to eat this.. Please.."

"Noo! Wonnie don't want to eat!!"

Wonyoung slaps Chaewon's hand that comes closer to her mouth, making the spoon fly. Both watched the food fall and Wonyoung slowly looked up to her mom. Chaewon just stares at the food on the floor blankly. She didn't say anything as she took a napkin to clean that up. Wonyoung watches Chaewon, feeling guilty. She then walked to her mom.

"Mommy.. Wonnie is sorry.. But it's hurting.."

Chaewon turned her head and smiled tiredly at her daughter who was crying because she was feeling bad. She held Wonyoung close to her and patted her head.

"Mommy is sorry too for forcing you to eat. I won't force you anymore, but please tell me if you're feeling hungry?"

Wonyoung nodded slowly and watched Chaewon clean the mess in silence. Chaewon then heard her daughter sniff.

"Oh, honey. Mommy is not mad.. Please don't cry.."

Chaewon pulled her daughter into her embrace again. She could feel Wonyoung's body trembles as she cries.

"I want.. Papa..."

Chaewon got tense.

\--

"... Hello?"

Saku waits until the person from the other line talks. Hearing nothing, he pulled his phone away from his ear to check whether the call was still connected. It was.

"Chaewon?"

He could hear a shudder breath from the other line.

".. Chaewon are you okay?"

_"Hey, uhm.. Sorry are you busy?"_

Saku leaned back to his car seat.

"Was about to go home before you called. You need something?"

He waits for Chaewon to talk again. She paused quite long before she spoke.

_"Sorry, it's just.. Wonyoung wants to see you."_

A smile formed on his lips at the mention of his daughter's name.

"Really? I planned to go tomorrow. Can I talk to her?"

He waits again. It was rare that Chaewon kept stalling as she was the more straightforward type. He frowned.

"Chae? Did something happen?"

_"... Can you visit today?"_

Saku closed his eyes, an image of Minju flashed on his mind but of course his daughter's order come first. He chuckles as he could portrayed Wonyoung's pouting.

"Alright, tell the Princess I'll be on my way. See you there."

Saku turned off his phone after he made sure Chaewon cut the line first. He then scrolls through his contact number and dialed Minju's number.

_"Just a minute! Are you outside?"_

Saku smiled and sighed.

"Hey, Min? Uh.. is it okay if we pushed back our date tonight?"

Saku could hear Minju stop moving, meaning that he was finally getting all her attention.

_"Something happens?"_

Saku hummed.

"Chaewon just called, saying that Wonyoung needs me there. I.. I need to check up on them since, Chaewon sounds quite serious on the phone."

Saku bit his lips as there were no sounds from the other line.

".. Min?"

_"Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I mean, your daughter needs you, Saku. It's okay, we can have our date tomorrow."_

Saku sighed and closed his eyes.

"Min, I'm sorry.."

He could hear Minju smile over the phone.

_"Don't be. Now go meet your Princess."_

\--

If this was a nightmare, Saku wished Minju to wake him up as soon as possible.

"Papaa!"

Before Saku could barely react, Wonyoung has already thrown herself into his embrace. Luckily, he snapped from his thoughts and caught his daughter in his arms.

"Hello Princess. You missed me?"

Saku doesn't even use half of his usual energy whenever he lifts Wonyoung up. His Wonyoung, his daughter who used to have rosy cheeks whenever she ran towards him, welcomed him after a long day at work, now has changed into a pale skin colour with that visible dark circles around her eyes. But the smile, oh that sweet smile. was still there to greet him, although there's a little lack of her usual energy. He could feel Wonyoung nodded on his shoulder, making him caress her back softly. The way he could hear the shortness of her breath beside his ear making him sick on his stomach because of the possibilities that filled his head.

"Wonnie missed papa soo much! Why aren't you here last week?"

Saku staring straight at his daughter's eyes, feels like crying when he could see those dark circles. He could hear footsteps coming out, familiar sandals caught his eyes. As he looked up, his heart dropped at the sight of his ex-wife's tired eyes. _What the hell is going on.._

"Hey.."

Saku smiled and took a step forward. He gave Chaewon a quick hug, with Wonyoung hugging his neck still.

"Hey you. You look.. tired."

Chaewon hummed and moved sideways, making Saku come inside a place that once he called it home. He took off his shoes before walking inside with Wonyoung. He tried to take a note from his surroundings, take a mental note there was something off from this place since the last time he visited two weeks ago. He could smell something familiar, yet unfamiliar, so he tried to brush it off. He put Wonyoung down and let her pull him to wherever she wanted.

"Papa, papa! You know, Wonnie will have a Ballet recital!"

Wonyoung pulled Saku into her room, that probably the only room that has this familiarity unlike the other part of the house. He sits on her bed when he watches his daughter go to her drawers and takes a card before she leaps into his laps, enjoying her father's warmth.

"Look, look!"

Saku took the card from his daughter's tiny hand and read it carefully. He caressed his daughter's hand softly while he read. He smiled proudly at his daughter.

"Wow, baby! This is amazing! Your first solo recital! I'm so proud of you, baby."

Chaewon arrives and stood at Wonyoung's room door when she watch her ex-husband cuddles with his daughter. Her heart clenched, as she hasn't talked about her ex regarding their daughter's condition. But for now, she was pleased to see her daughter's smile, after lots of tears this past week. She watched her daughter tell Saku stories and was quite thankful that Wonyoung didn't mention her feeling sick. Wonyoung yawned after she talks a lot with her papa.

"Ready to sleep?"

Wonyoung snuggled closer to her father's neck. Her tiny hand clutch tightly into Saku's shirt.

"Can you stay papa?"

Saku caressed his daughter's hair softly, as if her hair was the most fragile thing in this world.

"I'll be here until you sleep, honey."

Chaewon has already left the room and gone to the kitchen. She prepares hot chocolate, knowing that her ex is probably gonna stay for a while, asking for the changes in the house and his daughter. She waited at the dining table, staring blankly at the table. She didn't realize how long she was spacing out until she heard someone moving the chair in front of her. She looked up and stared at Saku, who was staring back at her.

"She's asleep?"

Saku nodded shortly before taking the mug in front of him.

"Hot chocolate?"

Chaewon smiles tiredly.

"Not so hot anymore."

They sit in silence waiting for someone to speak. And this is exactly why they divorced. They both are too careful toward each other, and end up lacking in terms of communications. But tonight is different. Saku's head was filled with questions regarding one person. Their daughter. His Wonyoung.

"What happened?"

Saku watched Chaewon slumped in her chair, looking tired physically and mentally. He doesn't want to pressure her to talk so he waits, like he always did. He was just hoping that this time, Chaewon would talk. Like really talk, not dismissing her feelings and such. He watched Chaewon take a deep breath before she fixed her sitting position. 

"Wonyoung got Neuroblastoma."

Chaewon carefully studies her ex. Surprisingly, Saku didn't react much.

"Saku?"

And now she could see his hand trembles. He tried to hold his composure. He tried to be calm about this. There he goes again, holding everything. She wished he could just go crying, or angry, or.. whatever. So she could cry too. So she could show him that she was frustrated. That she was afraid. 

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Chaewon bite her lips, holding herself not to break down in front of him.

"Neuroblastoma. It's cancer."

Saku put his mug carefully before he leaned his back to the chair. 

"...How..?"

Chaewon gripped her mug tightly. How? How the hell does she know that their daughter got a cancer called Neuroblastoma? How in the world she knows that?

"No one knows how or when their children suddenly got Neuroblastoma out of nowhere. All I knew was, she had headaches, complaining that her chest was hurting, lost her appetites, coughing, and that damned dark circles. I don't know, okay?!"

Chaewon breathed harshly. She could see her visions got blurred, probably because of the tears that she's been holding back ever since Wonyoung got diagnosed. She took a deep breath to calm herself and wiped the tears that threatened to falls. 

"... When did you find out?"

Chaewon cleared her throat.

"Last week."

She could see Saku looking at her disapprovingly.

"Damn it, Chae. Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

Saku ruffled his own hair, feeling frustrated that he knew about this late, and feeling angry for her ex-wife fir telling him this late.

"I was busy, okay?! I took a week's leave to take care of her! How am I supposed to call you when all I've been doing was taking care of our daughter!"

"Exactly! Our daughter! Wonyoung is our daughter and I deserve to know! Fuck it! I could have been here! I could have taken care of her!"

"Oh, so it was my fault now?! For not telling you?!"

Saku slammed the table and stood up.

"I'm just asking you to tell me sooner! Why didn't you tell me when you saw those symptoms in her?!"

Chaewon, who also got mad for the blames, also stood up.

"God damn it, Saku! I was fucking afraid, okay! What if when I called you, you were not here?! What if you were somewhere with your new girlfriend and what am I supposed to do then?! Waiting for you?!"

Saku glared at his ex-wife.

"Leave Minju out of this topic! This is nothing to do with her! It-"

"Oh, it has a lot to do with her!! You broke your promise last week because you have 'urgent' things to do!! And oh, right. Your 'urgent' thing was going to a holiday with your girlfriend! Did she even know about your promise with Wonnie?! If you were here last week, you could see her symptoms yourself!"

Saku exhales deeply. He knew Chaewon got a point and he knew he was blaming Chaewon out of the frustration over himself. They both just glaring at each other, trying to calm themselves. His ex-wife now crosses her arms around her chest, with tears in her eyes again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay. It's just that- I saw her hurting, Saku. I heard her cries. I saw how she physically changed and I-"

And then Chaewon broke down. She crouched down and buried her face on her knees. Saku hurriedly went to her side and held her tight. Chaewon immediately clutched his shirt and cried harder on his shirt.

"I'm so scared, Saku. I'm so, so scared."

Saku could feel his tears as well. He kissed her head, holding her tight.

"I'm sorry. I- I want to be here for her, for you. I'm so sorry, Chae. I don't want you to get through this alone. She's my daughter, OUR daughter."

That night, both adults who had once decided to treat each other as strangers, reunited for the sake of their daughter. That night, they succumbed to their fears and held each other tightly.

\--

"Saku?"

Saku blinked his eyes slowly before focusing on his date, Minju, who was looking at him worriedly.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He could feel Minju caress his arm softly. He sighed and put his hand above hers.

"Yeah, sorry. Where were we?"

Minju looked at him in concern. If this was Chaewon, she probably decided to let him be. But Minju was different.

"No, I know something is bothering you. What is it?"

Saku looked down at their intertwined hands. It's been two days since he knew about Wonyoung's condition and he had tried his best to be there for Wonyoung, and to help Chaewon. The mention of his ex-wife pained his heart. The way she cried all night that day was probably her first time breaking down over this.

He still remember the last time Chaewon broke down like that was when they lost their first child due to miscarriage. And now their daughter is suddenly diagnosed by this cancer thing that he forgot the name, probably the last hit for her insanity. Saku was contemplating moving back to his old house, so he could help her.

But he now has a girlfriend, who was so attentive and understanding. Sure, Minju is probably gonna be the one who told him to move, and that's why he doesn't have a heart to do that. She was too selfless for her own good.

"Saku?"

He snapped back to her and kissed the side of her head.

"Seriously, I'm fine. I-"

Saku's ringtone blasted over the room. He fished out his phone from his jeans and immediately stood up once he saw the caller ID.

"What happens?"

_"Could- could you please come? Wonyoung keeps crying because her chest is hurting- and.."_

Saku went to the balcony, to get away from Minju and to hear Chaewon's voice clearly.

"Chae, take a deep breath okay? I can't hear you."

He waits when he hears Chaewon take a deep breath and release it a couple of times.

_"Wonyoung keeps crying because of her chest pain and she looks sluggish the whole day. I- I think she also had fever, and coughing a lot and.. she's sweating. Could you please come?"_

Saku could hear desperation in her voice.

"Stay with her, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can and we'll bring her to the hospital okay?"

After Chaewon shut off the call, Saku took a deep breath and went inside. His eyes caught Minju's who's been watching from inside.

"I.. I gotta go. It's Wonyoung.."

Minju smiled sadly and nodded. She didn't even ask or anything. Saku went to her and caressed her cheek softly before planting a kiss on her plump lips.

"Don't wait for me okay?"

And then he left her to go to his daughter's side. To his family side.

\--

Chaewon feels a tap on her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered and saw Saku standing in front of her.

"Hey, let me move her to her room."

Chaewon looked down and saw Wonyoung was finally asleep in her embrace. She let go of her daughter and watched the father take her away. Chaewon rubbed her eyes and looked at the time. _23:58._ It's almost midnight. Chaewon stood up and went to her daughter's room. She saw Saku cradle Wonyoung in his arms. He looked up and smiled at her.

"She was awake. Don't worry I got this."

Chaewon didn't say anything and made her way to Wonyoung's bed, crawling into her bed and sitting beside Saku. Saku adjusted his position so she could see Wonyoung on his arms.

"She has become so skinny.."

Chaewon's voice was too small, but he could hear her clearly. Saku didn't say anything but noticed that Wonyoung's clothes looked bigger on her. He could hear how she breathed harshly due to the shortness of her breath.

"I- Eunbi noona gave me a recommendation hospital for her. Don't be mad at her, I was the one who contacted her to know more about Wonyoung's condition. She was about to tell you before I called."

Chaewon nodded. She felt her eyes got heavier so she rested her head into the familiar shoulder that used to make her feel safe.

"I want my healthy baby back."

Chaewon could feel Saku nodded.

"We'll make her healthy again. I promise."

\--

"Can you please tell me what's going on?"

Minju watched her boyfriend put his clothes into his duffel bag. It's been five days now that he keeps going to see Wonyoung, his daughter, without even telling her why. She doesn't mind,of course, since it was his daughter. But she wished that he could tell her what's going on so the voices inside her head could shut up about making Wonyoung as a reason for him to spend some time with his ex-wife. Saku put the last clothes inside his bag and zipped it. He sighed and walked to Minju, who was sitting at the edge of the bed.

"Min, I-"

"Is it Chaewon?"

She finally braced herself to confront her boyfriend. True, he once kept spending time with Wonyoung but he brought her with him. Or bring Wonyoung here. And now, he was the one who kept going there, she can't help but think like that.

"What?"

"Saku, I- I want to trust you, really. But you've been going there for what, two weeks now? Usually you bring me along, or bring Wonyoung here. But now, I don't even know what you are doing or have you really met Wonyoung at all? Everytime I ask, you keep brushing me off. You can't blame me for having this.. thoughts when you don't even tell me what the hell is going on. You think I'm a fool? I know you're back here at dawn, before I woke up."

Saku looked down on his feets. It was true what she said, though. He was always there, for his family. Forgetting that he also had someone who's been waiting for him, other than his family. He felt awful. He knew Minju deserves to know what happens with Wonyoung and why he keeps going there.

But there's just something in his heart that he just doesn't want someone outside his family to know, including Minju. He knew he's hurting her. And he's been contemplating breaking up with her for the sake of focusing on his daughter. He sighed and ruffled her hair, not even bothered to answer her question, nor correct her.

"I'll.. talk to you later okay?"

He lossed her forehead and sling his duffel bag before going from his bedroom. Before he closed the door, his heart broke when he heard a whimper sound from inside.

\--

It's been a month since they were staying at the hospital, to accompanied Wonyoung getting treated. They decided to stay at the hospital since Saku think it will help Chaewon to take a little break when he was working. He also spend most nights holding Wonyoung on his arms, soothing her pain that makes her unable to sleep with Chaewon beside him. It was exhausting mentally when he accompanied Wonyoung for her Chemotherapy as Chaewon couldn't bear hearing Wonyoung's wailing on her first Chemo. So Saku always took a leave whenever Wonyoung had a Chemo schedule. 

"Papa.. It hurts.."

To think that Chemo was one of the ways to cure her but the after effect was hurting her just broke Saku and Chaewon's hearts. They even discussed with Eunbi whether they should stop or not. 

"Sshh.. Where is it?"

Wonyoung pointed at her chest so Saku brought his hand there and rubbed it softly. It makes him sick whenever he could feel how she became thinner and thinner. They tried to feed her solid foods but sometimes she'll just throw it out. Nowadays, Chaewon makes her food like a puree and thankfully Wonyoung seems to enjoy it.

"Do you want mommy to read a bedtime story?"

One thing that Wonyoung (and Saku) loved the most was bedtime stories by Chaewon. Since Chaewon's voice sounds really soft and dreamy, it always soothes them. Saku always said, _'Your mommy is a fairy, Wonnie.'_ and Wonyoung still believes that until now. Saku watch how Chaewon hold Wonyoung's hands and start telling her stories about princess and stuffs. Chaewon was always good with this, while Saku need a book to help him making up stories. He smile at the memories and oh how he missed her soft, yet gentle voice. 

"She's asleep."

Saku snapped his eyes open when he felt Chaewon tapped his arms. He looked down and saw Wonyoung has falling asleep in his arms. He stood up slowly, following Chaewon who walked ahead to prepare her bed. He put her gently and covered her tiny body with her favorite blanket before planting a kiss on her forehead. Saku waits until Chaewon gives their baby a good night kiss.

"Do you want to.. walk somewhere?"

They did that nowadays, to keep their mind sane as Chaewon spent her whole day inside the room and Saku felt guilty because he had the privilege to go outside. Chaewon nodded and took her coat, following Saku outside. Saku has already asked the nurse to keep an eye on Wonyoung while they were out, and now they were sitting on the bench on the hospital rooftop with hot chocolate in both hands. They were quiet, enjoying the night breeze. Saku looked up to the sky and smiled.

"You know, I remember your story about.. what was it again? The rabbit in the moon?"

Chaewon turns her head and Saku before looking up as well. She smiles at the memory.

"Ah, Mr. Rabbit and His Journey To The Moon?"

Saku chuckled.

"Yeah, that one. And you got inspired because you saw an image of a rabbit in the moon."

Chaewon pouted and hit his arm softly.

"Yah, Wonyoung loves that story!"

Saku smiles softly at the mention of their daughter.

"Yes, she does."

Saku turns his head to stare at his ex-wife side profile.

"That was one of my favorites too."

Saku had turned his attention back to the sky before Chaewon catched him staring at her. It was now her turn to study her once favorite side profile. And it is still her favorite. She didn't remember how, and why they got divorced in the first place. Out of love? No, Chaewon still loves him, but she knew he wasn't. But that's not it. She was sure of it. Cheating? Both are loyal to each other, since they have had this relationship since they were in middle school and Saku was in a relationship with Minju recently. Not even three months. So why? Did they get tired of each other? Tired of fighting? Of the lack of communication? Busy with work? She doesn't remember. 

"I miss you."

Chaewon doesn't even realize she said it out loud until she saw Saku turn his head slowly, staring at her with that doe eyes of his that she adores so much. They stared at each other, and she saw he was staring at both her eyes and lips back and forth. She turned her head back to the sky, shaking her head.

"Sorry, it's just..."

She took a deep breath when she felt a lump on her throat.

"I'm scared, Saku."

Saku keeps silent. Eunbi has told them about Wonyoung's survival rate and they need to work extremely hard for that. It scares them, as Wonyoung has been nothing but a bundle of joy for both of them. Even if Saku lived away from them now doesn't mean that he spent less time with her. He was always sure to be there for her. Or when one of the nights Wonyoung asked him to come just to read her bedtime stories, he'll be there. He knew how scary it was, especially for Chaewon. He put his hot chocolate down and squeezed Chaewon's free hand softly, urging her to continue. They have been talking heart to heart these days, a thing that they couldn't do when they were still married.

"What if we lost her, Saku? What if I- We can't see her anymore? How am I supposed to live without her? She's my only one. She's the only-"

Chaewon stopped talking. Saku was wondering what was in her mind at that moment before she turned her head to face Saku, looking straight at him with tears stained her rosy cheeks.

"She's the only living memory I have left with you."

They don't know who started it, but now they have their lips on each other. Saku brought his hand to cup her cheek while Chaewon clutching her hand to his shirt, afraid to let go. They poured their emotion into the familiar kiss that they both longed so much. Saku put his other hand around her waist, keeping her closer while he deepened their kiss. Chaewon's soft moan made him plunge his tongue inside, ravishing her mouth. They both pant when they finally pulled out from the kiss and rested into each other's forehead. How they both missed these feelings of each other, their synced heartbeat, that familiar warmth. Both are staring at each other's eyes, finding what they've missed from each other until Saku's phone rings.

"I'm sorry.."

He mumbled before standing up and taking the call. Chaewon is still panting, but missing the warmth. His warmth. She took a deep breath and scolded herself for losing in that moment. She tries her finger into her own lips, feeling the burn from Saku's lips. She then looked at Saku, who had his back on her until one name made her stomach churned.

"Minju.."

\--

Minju stirred from her sleep as she felt her bed dipped from the side. She rubbed her eyes slowly, accustomed her eyes with the bright sun lights before turning her head. There was her boyfriend, who dropped his arms around her stomach and hid his face into her hair. She smiled tiredly and caressed his arms, telling him that she's awake.

"Hey, you."

Saku kissed her bare shoulder, making her shivers at his touch. They stay in silence, enjoying each other's warmth until Minju has had enough with the silence.

"... Why are you here?"

Minju could feel his arms tightened around her waist. He didn't reply to her.

"Saku, why are you here? It's been, what, three weeks?"

He just keeps holding her tight into his embrace. Minju sighed.

"... You're here to break up, didn't you?"

If this happened three weeks ago, Minju would probably already be crying while saying this. But now there was.. nothing. She feels nothing from this question. Saku and her, it's been a long time since Saku was here. Her home, their home. Her relationship with Saku now was based on chatting and phone calls, although they were in the same city. So, the spark has gone. Was it hurt? It is. But Minju thinks that countless nights sleeping because she was too tired crying over him makes her just.. don't feel anything anymore.

"... I'm sorry."

She could feel him hide his face deeper into her hair. This was probably the most.. calm break up she ever experienced. There are no tears, no screams, nothing. They just basically cuddle at the bed they called theirs before. Now it's probably Minju's bed as this was practically her apartment. 

"Can I ask why?"

She could feel him breathe. He always said her scent calmed him.

".. I.. First it was Wonyoung. She.. She needs my attention more than ever now and.."

Minju could feel a lump on her throat.

".. I realized I am still very much in love with Chaewon. And.. If I- I don't want to hurt you, Min. I love you, I really do. That's why I- I'm sorry."

Minju could feel herself nodded. Of course she knew this. She knew Saku was still in love with Chaewon. Not only the smile all over his face when she called, but also that one time he called her name when he climaxed. She knew, but she just wished maybe she could make him forget. Her first love. But she knew it too. Both are still very much in love with each other. And Wonyoung was their living proof. She didn't have that. She didn't have the fruit of her love with Saku.

".. I see."

\--

"Papa! Papa! Sit there!"

After the kiss that night, things got a little bit awkward between the two parents. The subtle glance between the two, the shy smiles, it feels like they are back to the time when they were in school. Except now they have Wonyoung, who was extremely pleased with how her parents act toward each other. She loves Minju, her papa's girlfriend, but Wonyoung wants her mommy to be with her papa again. She caught Chaewon and wiped her silent tears sometimes, although she was not sure it was because of Saku. But she felt the lack of warmth without her papa.

And now, she makes her papa sit beside her mommy for her Ballet recital. It was supposed to be today, but since Wonyoung are staying at the hospital now, Saku asked Eunbi if it was okay for them to have the small recital here. Saku rolled his eyes playfully and sit beside Chaewon, brushing their hands together. And that makes Wonyoung grin when they thought she didn't saw it. 

Wonyoung started her Ballet routine. She finally got an okay from Eunbi after Eunbi said she'll only be able to do it if she was fit enough, meaning that she had to eat a lot. And this makes a very good motivation for Wonyoung who usually refuses to eat, she has been eating more than enough this past few days. And that pleased Saku and Chaewon, making their heart feel at ease. Especially when Eunbi told them about her good progress.

They were now watching Wonyoung with both pride and proud over their only child. Not only was she battling for her sickness, she has this super will to get better. Thinking about it makes Chaewon's eyes got teary. She tried to wiped it secretly but Saku beat her. He wiped her tears and smile at her, kissing her head softly. Chaewon rest her head to his shoulder, watching their daughter in silence.

After the Ballet recital, the little family was seen sleeping together in Wonyoung's bed, with Wonyoung in the middle of her parents. Chaewon held Wonyoung in her arms while Saku tried to hold his family closer to his. They were enjoying each other's warmth.

"Papa?"

Saku looked down to his daughter, stroking her hair softly.

"Yes baby?"

Wonyoung looked up to see her father.

"Can you stay with Wonnie and mommy when we go home?"

Chaewon could feel her breath hitched. She knew his answer. She knew that there is no way Saku will be back to them after all this because of-

"I will baby."

Chaewon blinked. She carefully looked up and saw Saku staring at her. She was speechless. What about Minju, then? Won't she get mad? She felt Saku's hand on her back. His thumb creates an imaginary circle, making her calm.

"After all this, I will stay with you."

Wonyoung giggled softly, as she was tired after her little routine. She then sat up and hugged both her parents.

"Wonnie loves mommy and papa. We can be family again."

Saku kissed his daughter softly while he wiped Chaewon's tears silently.

"We're always family."

\--

"Mom..my.."

Chaewon's eyes snapped at the sound of her daughter's short breath. She looked at Wonyoung, who was clutching her chest in pain.

"Wonnie? Honey? What happened baby?"

"Won..nie.. can't.. breathe..."

Chaewon sits up already, making Saku awake.

"Wonnie?"

"Papa..."

Saku got alarmed by how weak Wonyoung sounds. He was about to wake Chaewon but she already ran outside, calling the nurse.

"Please call doctor Kwon! Please!! My daughter, she-"

Saku held his daughter close to his side, trying to rub her chest gently, helping her breath. This all happens in flash. One day she was already stable, no sign of short breath, rarely getting her chest hurt, and now it was all coming back. More than ever if he must say.

"Sshh.. Papa is here. Papa is here, baby. Mommy is calling aunty Eunbi okay?"

Saku felt Wonyong clutched his shirt.

"Don't leave me and mommy again.."

\--

Chaewon sat at the edge of her bed in her room, holding a picture in her hand. It was dark in there, but Chaewon didn't mind. It hides her swollen eyes and tears. Today was the day where they buried their daughter, who passed away after showing her first and last Ballet recital in front of Saku and Chaewon. Chaewon just lost all the energy she had left that day over the loss of her one and only daughter. Saku has been the one who held her into his arms, and never once she saw him cry. He proceeds with the funeral, telling all their family and friends, who pay their respect to Wonyoung for the last time. She saw Minju there, but Chaewon doesn't care. She keeps sitting beside Wonyoung's coffin and just stares blankly. Even Saku has to feed her or she won't eat at all.

"Chae?"

Chaewon could hear her bedroom door closing and felt the bed dipped beside her. She could feel Saku's hand on top of hers, rubbed it slowly.

"... I can still hear her.."

A lone tear escaped from Chaewon's eyes, and she didn't even bother to wipe it.

"I can still hear her laugh.."

She felt Saku moved closer to her, wrapped his arms around her shoulder. She rested her head on his shoulder.

".. She was so, so beautiful. Our baby."

Chaewon could feel her hair dampened as she heard sniffs from Saku. After three days trying to hold back his tears, it finally falls.

"She was so small."

Chaewon pulled away from Saku's embrace to face him fully. It broke her heart how messy his face was because of the tears that are now flowing from his eyes.

"I hold her, Chae. I hold her like I usually do. I rubbed her chest softly, it used to ease her pain.. Did I do it too hard? W-Was that my fault? She was too.. thin.. Chae, she was in my arms.."

Chaewon cupped his cheeks before pulling him into her embrace.

"I- I promised I'll be here Chae. I promised her. I promised you to make her healthy again."

He hugged her tightly, that it almost hurt her. But she let her be. He was hurting, she was hurting. He tried to comfort her, she tried to comfort him.

"I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't- God! Why did I leave you two here alone?! Why did I hurt you!? Now they took my baby away-!"

He pulled away and stared sadly at the only woman who used to fill his heart.

"She's gone, Saku. Our baby is gone now and I don't know how to feel, I don't know what to do. My- Our precious baby.. I want my baby back, Saku. I want my Wonnie back! She's all I have left!"

Chaewon hit his chest repeatedly. The two broken parents used each other for comfort over the loss of their children. Take anything away, except their children, they said. Saku wiped his tears and hers before staring at her eyes.

"Will you take me back?"

Chaewon staring at his eyes, lost.

"What..?"

"I promised, didn't I? I promised Wonyoung I'll stay with you. I don't- God, I don't want to leave you, Chae. I don't want to lose you too. I don't- I can't-"

Before he knew it, Chaewon lunged herself into him, desperately wanted to be as close as possible with him. Both are devastated, depressed, desperate, and emotionally tired with everything. They need something, or someone who could feel their pain, which is each other.

"Please, just.. please don't ever leave me again, Saku. I have nothing left. I- If I lost you too I- I don't think I can make it.."

That night, they tried to reconnect with each other, both physically and emotionally. They hold each other close, afraid to let go even if only one centimeter apart. That night, they tried to keep his promise, her last wish, for the rest of their life.

\--

"Hey baby."

Chaewon sat down beside Wonyoung's tombstone.

"You must be lonely, huh? Mommy and papa are sorry for not coming here a lot recently."

Chaewon felt a squeeze on her shoulder. She turned her head at Saku who gave her flowers.

"Here's your favorite flower, honey. Oh, and.."

She took another thing from Saku's arms. Saku then took a seat beside Chaewon wrapped his arms around her.

"Here's your baby brother. His name is Dohyon."

Saku smiles at the picture at the tombstone.

"Wonnie, papa kept his promise. Papa won't leave mommy, and now Dohyon."

He walked over to the tombstone and gave it a kiss.

"Papa won't leave anymore."

\--


End file.
